You’re a Crime Fiction Writer If…

*You’re pretty sure that your web search history trips the alarms of: the FBI, CIA, and NSA, Homeland Security, MI-5 and 6. Plus, you’re positive that all of the above are currently working on a search warrant for your sorry-ass.

*You’re positive that in another life you were a great cop or a kick-ass detective.

*You’re positive that in another lifetime you were a successful criminal.

*Your smartphone is chock full of Police scanner radio apps. (Ok, maybe a couple).

*The theme song from the TV show COPS is your jam. (Or ‘I Fought The Law’).

*You’re obsessed with the grand poohbahs of Crime Fiction.

*You spend your free time researching bold crimes and bizarre murders, therefore killing your chances at a normal love-life.

*You think about visiting ‘the body farm’ but you’re too much of a chicken to actually do so.

*Your obsession with guns and ammo makes the NRA really fucking happy.

*You’re ‘familiar’ with a few shady cats around the neighborhood, even though they scare the bejesus out of you.

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