The World’s Gone Write

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‘Great! Another douche with a blog’  Is the look people give you when you mention that indeed you do in fact have a blog. It’s– almost– as bad as when you say that you’re a writer (but that’s gonna be a topic for another time.) Then comes the ‘enthusiastic’ what do you blog about? ‘Midget gay porn.’ I want to say in order to add some Sriracha to an already dull and awkward exchange.

Truth be told I never wanted to do the blog-thing; I have a full time job. I can barely find the time to write as it is, now I know a lot of writers will frown at that sentence, look here fools. Ever try living in New York? Yeah the fucking Landlord owns your sorry ass. Plus I don’t know if I have any great wisdom that I want to pass on. I’m so out of touch with the whole internet thing that I thought blogging was something that a bore housewife would do, or a rich, bore, and famous housewife would do.

Well, guess what? it turns out that if you’re getting yourself into the self-publishing game you NEED to have a blog. Not only because people can get a feel for your ability to string two sentences together, but also: So that you as a writer can start a mailing list.

BTW, you can join mine by clicking on SUBSCRIBE HERE at the top, or by simply CLICKING HERE I promise NO SPAM as I hate the stuff with a fiery passion—except the pink slimy stuff, that’s good salty eatin’—I will only e-mail you with news about my book releases which should be every once in a blue moon.

Back to our regularly schedule programming…where was I? Oh, yeah, blogging. See, as I’m writing this post I’m already drawing a blank, What do I post about? Do I post about grandma’s shiny-new hip replacement? nope, don’t have a grandma. What about the accidental shooting in the face of grandpa’s hunting partner? Now, see that would be a good post except it happened to Dick Cheney ages ago, and he ain’t my grandpa.

Quell Mindfuck (wordplay courtesy of Diablo Cody)

It’s great that everyone and their grand mother is doing the blogging thing, we all need dreams and at least it informs you that people are doing something creative with their lives, as supposed to just laying down and waiting to be forgotten. I say: Dream while you’re alive because they’re ain’t not dreaming when you give up the ghost. Okay, maybe there is but, there’s no one around that can verify this, now is there? So yeah. Dream on.

p.s. Don’t forget to sign-up!

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