… if you’re lucky enough to get it on a regular basis and you wish to keep it that way—avoid, I repeat; AVOID at all cost saying the following:
- Naked you look like my mom
- Here’s my Ten-inch Porcupine penis!
- Ever heard of Donkey Punch?
- Do you do this for a living?
- My ex used to do that and she was actually good at it.
- Two word sweetheart: liposuction Junction.
- Meh, prison sex was way better.
- Let’s do it in Grandma’s coffin
- I’ve never been with a sober woman before.
- Can I put a bag over your head?
- Here’s my Vagina Dentata!
- Is it in yet?
- What string?
- My husband is a Navy Seal
- Vienna Sausages are… good, yeah sure, why not?
- Only my brother, dad and uncle can touch me there mister.
- Will it break if I bend it this way?
- Ever heard of: Penis meet hot needle?
- Your stretch marks are not racing stripes Bozo.
- Ever try two blue pills?
Remember kids: The pleasure is in the journey. The same goes for writing.