Just One More Thing

Photo Credit: Quora.com

Columbo popularize the inverted detective story format which begins by showing the audience the commission of the crime and the perpetrator, the audience then gets to see how the detective goes about solving the case and securing all evidence needed for a conviction. There’s a not-so subtle class warfare in every episode of Columbo. You never see him trying to solve a double homicide committed by a bunch of gangbangers, or drug dealers killing each other in a turf war. The perpetrator is always rich, suave, good looking and did I say rich? Inevitably these One Percenters are always looking down at this working class bumbler type detective, who refuses to go away. Watching these rich fools come to the realization that this ‘inconsequential’ and ‘scruffy little man’ has them by the balls by simply being smarter than they thought he was is pure delight.

Episode Structure:

*The famous guest star kills someone (Jack Cassidy played a murderer in three Columbo episodes, brilliantly)

*Columbo arrives in his dirty car

*The killer thinks they can get away with it because Columbo is clearly a fucking moron

*Columbo just won’t leave the killer alone and you start to feel sorry for them

*Columbo gets his man and takes him/ her down without much fanfare.

Columbo (Peter Falk) says things like:

“I worry. I mean, little things bother me. I’m a worrier. I mean, little insignificant details — I lose my appetite. I can’t eat. My wife, she says to me, “You know, you can really be a pain.”

“Watch my hand, it’s full of grease. This is my dinner. Would you like a piece of chicken?”

Columbo asks one villain “How much does a home like this cost?” and when he finds out, he says “Oh, sir, I could never afford that on a policeman’s salary.”

Don’t you love this guy already? With his disheveled trench coat, his beat-up1959 Peugeot convertible, and his cigar chomping ways this sleuth is the antithesis of what anyone would expect from a Los Angeles Homicide Detective, yet in the end, this ‘uncouth’ man outfoxes the smug monied gentry and takes them down much to the delight of the cheering audience.  He loves animals, the wife—we never get to see, and cigars.

Oh uh, just one more thing… I sincerely hope that Hollywood doesn’t do a re-boot of this classic TV show.

READ 16 FASCINATING FACTS ABOUT PETER FALK AND ‘COLUMBO’

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Sucky Year No More!

‘Write it on your heart that every day is the best day in the year.’~ So said Ralph Waldo Emerson; I wonder what he would think of 2016 A. K. A. as the suckiest year since sucky years were invented.  Here’s to a Happy and Prosperous 2017!

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The Lazarus Project.

Image: Canonical Ltd.

I have an old Acer laptop which I use exclusively as an entertainment center, I don’t use it for anything else because its old and I’m afraid that if I do ‘serious work’ on it; it might crap out on me. It was a windows 7 machine, but since Microsoft was giving away free installs of Windows 10 I took a chance and installed it. Fast-forward to four weeks ago; Windows 10 pushed a new update, which I took, but then when I tried to turn the machine back on it died on me.

About ten or so years ago, I bought my first Windows 7 laptop, it was great, but being the curious cat that I am, I became intrigued by an Open Source System call Ubuntu ( African word meaning ‘humanity to others’. It also means ‘I am what I am because of who we all are’), I like a challenge, so I installed Ubuntu into my Windows 7 machine, an action known as a ‘dual boot’ meaning: you can boot up the machine on either Windows 7 or Ubuntu. I was hooked.

As much as liked Ubuntu though, it soon became clear that I wasn’t ready for it, see back then you couldn’t play Netflix using Ubuntu, I mean you could, but you’d have to install a program call Wine and then find a ‘substitute’ for Silverlight which, I believe, is a Microsoft program that enables you to play Netflix, needless to say it was a major pain in the spine. The biggest problem of all? No Microsoft Word.

Ubuntu and the Open Source Community have a couple of writing programs that can give Microsoft Word, a run for its money. One is call Open Office and the other is call Libre Office this second one comes pre-installed in Ubuntu, wonderful programs, thing is though; most writers work on Microsoft Word. My book formatters only work with Microsoft Word. And don’t even think about sending an editor any document other than a Microsoft Word document.

So I had to say goodbye to Ubuntu. That is, until my old Acer laptop got fried by that Microsoft Windows 10 update, but now that I’ve installed Ubuntu 16.4. 1 LTS; its ALIVE! My old Acer works like its brand spanking new. (Now, if we could find a way to make the formatters and editors of the world change their tune and be more flexible, then I think peace would surely come to the Middle East—yeah right). By no means am I a pro at all things Ubuntu, I’m still learning, so if you have an old computer collecting dust and you like a challenge; go try Ubuntu, plus you don’t need anti-virus for it. (Most viruses are made for the popular guys like Microsoft and Apple).

Try: Ubuntu 16.4. 1 LTS  You can find different Ubuntu flavors HERE.

Plus, it has some popular nifty cousins, known as Distributions or Distros, such as:

Zorin OS 12  

Linux Mint 18 Sarah 

Elementary OS  

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Zero Saints-Book Review.

zerosaintsA note to Author Gabino Iglesias: On behalf of a bunch of crime fiction writers out there,(Ok mostly moi) we would like to ask Mr. Gabino Iglesias author of Zero Saints; to please stop writing books under the crime fiction banner, failure to do so may destroy the writing ‘career’ of a bunch of us—thank you.

Pulling zero punches, author Gabino Iglesias plunges the reader into the hard, violent, funny and often bizarre world of barrio underground gangbangers, drug dealers, Santeria, Palo Mayombe, Santa Muerte and a dog with human eyes. This book is unlike any other book I’ve ever read, I came to it without any previous knowledge of Mr. Iglesias’s output, and man, I’m glad I did. This was a propulsive read and pretty damn impressive in every level, from the intellectual, to the poetic and scary as hell, add to it the deft touches of Spanglish, plus supernatural elements, and you’ve got yourself a classic—that’s right;  A Classic.

Ever read a book that makes you want to shout it out from every rooftop? This is that book! Why is this book not in the New York Times Bestsellers List? Boggles the mind. The only complain I can see about this tome is from folks who don’t speak Spanish and to those folks I say: This is America; learn to speak Spanish cabrones. (That goes for you too NZ, UK, AU, etc.). Seriously though; a lack of Spanish skills will not hinder your enjoyment of this unforgettable book.

One question Mr. Iglesias. What the hell is in that bucket?

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SEX.

… if you’re lucky enough to get it on a regular basis and you wish to keep it that way—avoid, I repeat; AVOID at all cost saying the following:

Men’s Edition:

  1. Naked you look like my mom
  2. Here’s my Ten-inch Porcupine penis!
  3. Ever heard of Donkey Punch?
  4. Do you do this for a living?
  5. My ex used to do that and she was actually good at it.
  6. Two word sweetheart: liposuction Junction.
  7. Meh, prison sex was way better.
  8. Let’s do it in Grandma’s coffin
  9. I’ve never been with a sober woman before.
  10. Can I put a bag over your head?

Women’s Edition:

  1. Here’s my Vagina Dentata!
  2. Is it in yet?
  3. What string?
  4. My husband is a Navy Seal
  5. Vienna Sausages are… good, yeah sure, why not?
  6. Only my brother, dad and uncle can touch me there mister.
  7. Will it break if I bend it this way?
  8. Ever heard of: Penis meet hot needle?
  9. Your stretch marks are not racing stripes Bozo.
  10. Ever try two blue pills?

Remember kids: The pleasure is in the journey. The same goes for writing.

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Petrocelli-Book Review.

petrocelli-jpgRight off the bat I must say that this was not an easy read for me; very few things make me uncomfortable, this book did that to me, which is a testament to talented author John Rachel and his well-researched hard-hitting eye-opening novel.

Small time crocked low life ‘Lucky’ Lenny Petrocelli becomes embroiled in the sexual exploitation and trafficking of minors for an outfit operating out of Chicago; New Yorker Lenny is way over his head. And while the Djin Djin girls ply their trade in the dirty streets of Brooklyn, Bishop Mulcahy and a brutal serial killer with a messiah complex try to clean the streets. The Bishop by railing the community, the serial killer with brutality learned in the Vietnam War. Multiple story lines converge to make Petrocelli a compelling read worthy of a place in the New York Times Best Seller List as stories like this one are worthy of National attention, as the ‘Author’s Note’ reads in the introduction: … “It is currently estimated that human trafficking is annually a 36 billion dollar business worldwide. I have also read there are more than 25 million people in the world kept in bondage as slaves. I fear this is a low figure.” Another thing of note is that despite the subject matter; author John Rachel writes in a witty, world weary manner, with believable characters in a world where greed rules; profit above all else, even the lives of innocent children. Powerful stuff.

5 out of 5

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