Snowcalipse Post Four

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Image Credit: laceyentertainment.com

Okay enough with the video games already, let’s get back to the meat and potatoes of this site shall we? And by the by; this is the last of the so called-Snowcalipse post (Yeah I can hear the collective sigh of relief) Anyway…Back in 1996 there was a little syndicated TV show call America’s Dumbest Criminals. Some of the stories on that show were hilarious because as we all know criminals say and do a lot of dumb shit and dumb shit’s funny. Anyway while staying put during Snowcalipse, I took the liberty of transcribing five of those stories here for your reading pleasure, enjoy.

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A guy gets arrested and booked for a string of vending machine robberies; bail was set at $400.00. He made his phone call and waited for his girlfriend to arrive with the money. Eventually she did, bringing bail money for her paramour. All fifteen hundred quarters.

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4:00 a. m. Las Vegas

A patrolman sees a white van swerving all over the road, he pulls the van over. As the officer approaches the van he sees the driver sliding to the passenger seat. The officer ask for his license and registration.

“It wasn’t me officer,” says the drunken driver, “I wasn’t driving… it was him,” he says while pointing at a giant Teddy bear who’s been sitting quietly in the backseat.

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Mr. Larry Johnston of New York was issued 2,800 parking tickets between the years of 1985 and 1988. He used 19 different addresses and 36 license plates in order to evade paying the $150,000.00 in fines.

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Joey was a well-known fellow in the neighborhood, he was harmless if a bit delusional, but also known for not being ‘all there.’

Cops get a call about a suspicious individual walking around sporting a brown paper bag over his head, when an officer gets there, right away he knows who it is under the paper bag and says.

“Joey what are you doing with a paper bag over your head?”

Joey was also known to be a very unattractive guy. Joey says.

“Just trying to get a date.”

Okay that previous anecdote was more sad than criminal, however, please—ugly or not—do yourself a favor and don’t walk around with a brown paper bag over your head.

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An officer tells on the stand, on how two dumb criminals had their number come up by saying that while patrolling the streets one night, he came across a cash dispensing machine with its chain still attached to one end; while the other end was attached to a car bumper.

Cash machine and bumper; just lying there in the middle of the road.

Well it turns out that the bumper still had the perpetrators license plate on it.

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Sadly the TV show is no longer around, but you can still find a bunch more of these morsels at the America’s Dumbest Criminals website.

Hilarious shit I tell ya. Later Sport .

Snowcalipse Post Three

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Image Credit: playstation.com

The T-A-L-O-S Principle.

A first person’s perspective puzzler, a thinker’s game to boot as it forces you to use your grey matter in order to solve the puzzles laid before you by using elements like blocks, signal jammers, laser connections, motion-recording devices, and turrets.

You’re an android placed in the ruins of beautifully rendered ancient cities such as Greece, and Egypt, on occasion the booming voice of Elohim tells you that you’ll gain everlasting life if you finish all the puzzles. He creates a sense of forbidden mystery around a big central tower, and suggest the entire world around you is a sham.

In order to solve the puzzles you must collect Sigils which are essentially Tetris-style tetrominos blocks to unlock new zones, and new gadgets to use with the puzzles, and eventually that mysterious tower. Once a full set of Sigils are collected, you line them up, much as you would in Tetris, at various interface panels before key doors.

Lots of Aha! Moments in this game, with cool challenges and satisfying endings, want an even bigger challenge? Look for the stars in the game and good luck with those orbiting explosive globes.

Give it a swirl.

Snowcalipse Post Two

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Image Credit: monumentvalleygame.com

It’s official—I’m getting old because my days of playing irresponsible and morally reprehensible video games like: Hitman, Silent Hill, Grand Theft Auto and Max Payne, are dwindling. How do I know this? because in the middle of Snowcalipse I found myself playing a game featuring a silent princess by the name of Ida.

Yeah go ahead chuckle away my friend. Are you done? Good, let’s continue.

Monument Valley.

If you like 20th century movements such as Cubism, De Stijl, Dadaism and Surrealism, you’ll love this visually striking puzzler which also owes a huge debt to the Dutch graphic artist M. C. Escher, Japanese woodblock prints, and temple architecture from around the globe.

As stated above you play as Ida, a silent princess trying to discover the mystery of Monument Valley by exploring temple-like structures to unlock their secrets. To move Ida, you simply touch where you want her/you to go. As you find your path to your goal you’ll encounter jaw dropping yet impossible geometry. In this game is all about perspective; changing your perspective will change the physical reality. There’s not a single drop of blood anywhere in this game, highly recommended for young and old and anyone in between.

There’s only one flaw with this game; it’s a bit like this post: Too damn short.